A nightmare for breakfast

Warning: Not to be read while eating.

Well, am a vegetarian. And I do eat egg. There are many who’d say that the “And” in the previous sentence should be a “But”, and that an egg is not vegetarian. As far as I know its not proven whether its veggie or not. For all I know or care about, it is just a chicken and egg question with no reasonable answer.
But well, coming back to the topic. I was a regular egg-eater in Australia, having it for breakfast every single day. I started off microwaving it into some form of an omelette, only to get disgusted soon by its taste or lack of it, and moved onto scrambling it. Scrambling it however, is a very easy and interesting task. You just put it in a non-stick vessel on the stove, and keep moving it around, making sure nothing sticks to the vessel or pan or whatever. The end product is yellow (pardon me if you think its a different color, I don’t claim to be an authority on this, having been born color-blind) and looks like pop-corn. And well, not easy to have as sandwiches but more of a curry with bread kinds. Over a period of time, I learned how to make Omelettes where the key is to beat it well and have a bit of patience while you spread it on a pan (dosa types) and leave it to cook. Its a lot easier than dosa, and is pretty well made too although I must warn, it does raise a nasty stink.

But well, the different ways of cooking egg was never the intention or motif of this post. I used to have eggs everyday until a good friend convinced me that its got too much cholesterol for my comfort and my lifestyle (a sophisticated term for lack of anything that qualifies as exercise). I ditched the egg and took up veggie nuggets made of potato. How good a switch it was I’d never know, but I guess eggs at least have proteins while potatoes are pure carb. Then my return to India happened and the question of whether to egg or not was pushed into the darkest chambers of the closet and lay festering there, while I gorged on my mom’s cooking. On arriving at the US, I was surprised to note that there were no veggie nuggets available. It was interesting, considering that I was a firm believer that anything in Aus, except their sports or driving side, is a copy from the US. Having left with no choice, the egg made its appearance in my refrigerator. The difference however is that the egg here in the US is white in color while the one in Aus was different (please don’t ask me which, I’d probably say brown, which is my safety net for colors I can’t identify). Everything was back to normal except that some days I frequently had questions in my head whether its veggie or not and I looked to get out of the egg mode.

But well, the differences between eggs in Aus and the US was definitely not the motif of this post. What am driving at is what happened a couple of days back. Am never in the habit of throwing out my trash, its done every week by the company apartment cleaners. But one day I as forced to. It was a normal weekday morning, I woke up exactly 1hr 15 min before my bus, as usual, and after my shower, I put the bread slices in the toaster and brought out an egg to break for breakfast. On breaking open, I did not expect to see the yellow squishy thing come out. I knew it would by instinct. However, this day my heart leaped into my mouth as there was nothing yellow or squishy in it. What I saw was a malformed foetus, a small would’ve been chick (dead of course, having been in the refrigerator for close to 2-3 days and God knows how long before that in the store). It shocked the hell out of me, having never had to deal with dead animals, or birds for that matter before. There was only one option. The trash. Dumping it in it, I threw the trash out along with all the rest of the eggs. The day went by with me feeling shocked and shaken over everything edible I saw. I steered clear of even canned drinks fearing the worst about them. And well, the question is settled about one thing for sure!!

(P.S: Sorry aboutthis, the last para was pure fiction. No such thing happened and I still continue to egg, although once every couple of days. And please forgive me if I ruined your meal.)


16 thoughts on “A nightmare for breakfast

  1. So Working in MS is making you a Stephen King clone?!! God!! What do they do to people inside there!!!
    Egg and Bread, I’ve been practically living off it since I came to US and cheese once in a while. I’ve cooked chicken only thrice since i’ve been here and the quality is good, but cooking chicken takes time and patience that I don’t ‘ve…
    How do u manage to cook omlette in the microwave?!!

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