The feeling’s back. That of floating around in a different plane, wafting along from day to day, weekend to weekend, seeing weeks flow by, at an oddly slow pace, but feeling like a short time when viewed with hindsight. Happens when everyday is more or less the same I guess.
The evening I landed here and dragged my luggage in seems far away, even though it’s been only 4 weeks. The weekend I landed on the slopes of San Francisco and wriggled out happened just over 2 weeks ago, but feels like ages back. In between there was Seattle, my marker for the mid-point of the trip.
I guess I don’t know how to wrap my head around the days. I wonder if they are flowing by fast or are just not moving along. Bangalore and life in BMTC buses seems so far away, a different plane which I can’t believe I used to inhabit just a month back. Those struggles which were so real now assume a more romantic view. Some thought and I wonder if that seemed like an other plane of existence, meandering like this towards nowhere in particular.
At least there I was in the here and now, not worried about wanting to be someplace else. That, I will grant my city – I’ve never felt like I belonged elsewhere during my past year. The trip to Seattle was strange. It was like being back in a place I knew inside out, the streets, the turns, the shops, but strangely I knew I did not belong there anymore. Talking about it to my ex-colleague, she said she feels the same when she goes back to her hometown in Poland, and that Seattle was now home for her with her family and kids to bring up. How much roots you develop in each place I guess. End of the weekend I felt a tad nostalgic and a bit heavy about going back to San Jose. More than any nostalgia it was the good time I had that weekend that held me onto it I guess. Seattle will be my second home, but only as long as my dear cousin and host of friends are still there. Beyond that, there’s nothing more to bind me to it. I wonder if the same’ll hold towards Bangalore too after a few years or decades. Don’t think I have answers to that, yet!