It’s crazy the kind of thoughts that flow into your mind at random times. Be it related to the topic that might be under discussion or something totally unrelated that just sneaked up in a moment when the concentration was running loose. A few minutes of indulgence and you are back in the present, everything you were supposed to be conscious of and were nodding to the past few minutes having gone in as empty words that formed the background for your reverie.
In a way, it’s a parallel world which you dare not bring into the real, a la J.D from Scrubs. But then, the brain is such a wonderful thing shielding this world from the real, its own private cocoon where it can indulge in every little fantasy its imagination can conjure up, safely hidden away as a dark secret which dare not come out.
What happens when this shield cracks up, when little figments of that secret world start trickling out. Sudden little filler thoughts that wriggle out verbalized. Sudden noises of “lalalala” just because you are restless and uneasy. Its a scary world eh? The thin line between sanity and insanity? So in a way is insanity the gradual blurring and eventual disappearance of this shield, this line that exists between what is a proper and socially acceptable response and what is something to be put in that chamber and guarded with a key you’d have to be killed to obtain?
Also, looking at it from an entirely opposite perspective, is it possible to eliminate that inner world completely, having only thoughts that can be verbalized and pertain to the matter being discussed or relevant for that moment? Some kind of Zen state of being. Looking at it from this side, is the secret chamber something finite, where too many thoughts bottled up to be guarded can cause it to burst at its seams and eventually explode?
Oh well, it’s close to 10 PM and am close to nodding off. A weird case of jet lag means I end up sleepy at 9:30 PM and wide awake by 5:30 AM. Only way to get past looks like I’ll have to stay awake till the time I want to sleep and then let the alarm wake me up. Still beats the first day of breaking down the jetlag where you have to be up the whole day while the eyes want to drop down and close in blissful sleep. Or maybe I should have endured it for some 30-45 mins more the first day itself. At least would have saved the world from the above 4 paragraphs.